Ikaru (Chapter 1) - Fri 29 Oct 2010

This was an interesting story, however it was hard to follow in the beginning because of all of the lyrics, they were very distracting. The rest of the story seemed a little rushed as well, I would slow down a bit, especially where you transition to the flashback. Other than that, like i said this was an interesting story, well done!


Dragoness (Chapter 1) - Wed 27 Oct 2010

Not familiar with the song but it's nice and I like the way you did this fic.  This was an angel I don't come across much and I liked Sesshomaru standing up for what he felt was right.  It's always nice to be able to look back on some choices and not regret them and instead thank God we were smart enough to make the right choice.  Very cool I liked it a lot.


Hairann (Chapter 1) - Wed 27 Oct 2010

A bit OOC, but cute none the less.  While I enjoyed the story, I would suggest less lyrics and more story.  In some parts there seemed to be more the song than the actual story and it can be distracting. 


Miss Anna (Chapter 1) - Mon 25 Oct 2010

I like the idea behind your story and I like the song that you used to make this oneshot, it's good.
There are however a few changes I would suggest to make it flow easier for readers...make the paragraphs slightly long so that you and your readers can get a good feel for how the lyrics go with the story and spaces between the paragraphs and the lyrics of the song. Some reader's will say that they don't like lyrics of the song in an actual song fic but I love it and I am glad that you put the lyrics in for I have never heard the song and so having the lyrics helped me get a feel for the emotion behind the story. Other than that I like it, and I would like to read more from you!


MoxyMikki (Chapter 1) - Sat 23 Oct 2010

Generally it is my opinion that adding the actualy lyrics of a song in a song-fic, detracts from the story itself. You have a great, emotional story here, but a lot if missed because it gets confused with the lyrics. Also, it was a little difficult to read for me, because of the format. Separating the lyrics from the story sections would have been helpful. Just using italics kind of jumbled the two seperate pieces to me. Now this is only my opinion and i would expect you or any other author to change what they have done if they didn't think my suggestions helpful. Maybe other readers willl feel differently, so take what I offer as meerly helpful suggestions. You have a great little one-shot here, and i look forward to more works from you.


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