i would probably get slapped into next week if i went to go see a stripshow or talked back to my dad like that... LOL nice job^^. I eagerly await the next chapter
Very Interesting! bueno! I love the setting and the plot. Mmm mmm mmm smells like something good is cookin in this fic! I am eagarly awaiting the next chapter.
Amber!!! (Chapter 1) - Wed 11 Nov 2009
| I like the story, however I feel an editor wouldgo a long way with you. The story is plagued with awkward phrases and uneccesary inverted sentences. Combine that with the spelling errors and word misusage, and my head started to implode a little bit. The ideas behind the story seem very well developed, but with a little more work on basic english fundamentals, you could have a kickass story. I'm not saying this to be a twat, believe me. I see potential in this story that you could be successful in getting your stories across with a little elbow grease. A quick way to fix some gramatical errors is to read the story outloud. If you do that, you'll be able to hear any awkward phrasing.
Looking forward to another installment...
-Amber!!!
It's definitely different and not what I was expecting. Having overprotective guardians is something new. How exactly did Kagome's mom their dad? How did Kagome meet Sango? I would like more background info on them. And when will Sesshou and Inuyasha finally acknowledge that Kagome is a young woman? Keep up the good work and update soon :P
Oh my geez that was awesome. I think that the length was perfect for a first chapter, but that's just me. Other than a few typos, it was pretty good!
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