Girl, you can write alright. 

The first chapter was refreshing in its introduction to this new story. 

Top-notch story-telling here although I feel your chapters are too short and leave me wanting more !

Looking forward to reading this new work of yours. 

<3

P.S: your beaten-to-death trope re-vamp and execution is envious !  I think you're ready to write a fictional storytelling book on a commercial scale.