Marie Ovalles (Chapter 5) - Mon 18 Dec 2017

Continue pleasee!


Buttercream (Chapter 4) - Thu 22 Jun 2017

So they are both thinking about each other?  I hope they have more dates to come.

Looking forward for the next update.

 


Buttercream (Chapter 3) - Wed 14 Jun 2017

I am glad that Sesshomaru and Kagome had hit it off for their busniess lunch.  I had to laugh when Sesshomaru pulled out his laptop  to find potential dates. 

Please update soon.


Natalia (Chapter 3) - Wed 14 Jun 2017

I liked the chapter but.. sorry not trying to be rude. you concentrated more on what they wore than what they spoke at the restaurant. not that it's not important to show how they look but seriously? I am not an old lady but I don't very much care that her shoes were from Christian bla bla. just say nice shoes. well its only my opinion but I like more the deeper things. yes, they are both rich but this is not the most important no? sorry I really like the fic its just my opinion that is meant as advice ok? good luck, will eagerly wait for more, I like your strong kagome and how she shook his hand! thx for updating!


Anna Grey (Chapter 3) - Wed 14 Jun 2017

the plot seems good, but I think you're just simply "telling" the story. Personally, you need to go deeper into the character's inner thoughts, If you don't, the story may be a little bit rush, and the readers won't feel anything at all!! Like when Kag and Sess had lunch together, you should describe what they talked about, what made them enjoy the conversation, and their feelings after that... oh, and work on your phraseology, use more creative words, they'll make your fic more enjoyable to read :)

normally I don't leave review on the fics I don't like or not well-written fics, but I see you have potential, so please keep going and improve your writing, ok??


Kagaku-sha (Chapter 1) - Tue 13 Jun 2017

The story has major potential. The court scene was written well, but afterward it seemed like facts were just being randomly added by using dialouge without sufficient background. Just a personal preference, but in the future when you introduce new material that's important to the plot try to lead in with narration then use dialogue to back it up. The convo between Kikyou and Kagome seemed slightly random. The audiance (I don't) doesn't have enough background on their relationship to understand how the convo was appropriate. This is where narration would have been perfect.

For example:

Kagome's dating life was a nightmare. Her sister, Kikyou had high hopes for her most recent suitor, Hojo. The older woman had introduced them at a relatives wedding and it seemed the two had hit it of pretty well.

"How's Hojo? I'm sure you can't wait to share the good news with him!" Kikyou asked expectantly.

Kagome's cheerful demeanor shifted at the mention of the handsome young man's name. Noticing her sister's mood Kikyou sighed in exasparation.

"What's wrong with this guy Kagome?"

"Well...." The younger of the two started, "He seemed great at first. He seemed sweet, genuine and of course he's handsome..." As Kagome listed his positive traits she noticed the older woman's look of confusion as if asking her what the problem was, "but I let it slip how much I was getting paid for taking this case. I assumed it was no big deal since he claimed to be an extremely successful stock broker." Kagome stressed the word extremely while using her hands to emphasize her point. Laughing at her sister's amused expression she continued, " Anyway! You know how men get about women making more money than them. Either they're really intimidated and can't handle it, or they think they've hit the jackpot and try to take you for all you have."

Kikyou nodded in understanding "I really didn't think he was like that."

"Yea, well you know... I decided to end things tonight. I just have to figure out how I'm going to broach the topic."

 

The way you wrote about the defense attorney's expressions, his play on the jury's sympathy and Kagome's final statement... I loved it!

I do look forward to reading more... well let me click on the next chapter! lol Keep up the good work!


Christine (Chapter 2) - Thu 01 Jun 2017

Can't wait for more. I like where this wonderful story is going! 


trinity3000 (Chapter 2) - Thu 01 Jun 2017

Yay, Yasu is in the mix.  Can hardly wait for Kagome and Sesshomaru to meet face to face. 


zodiak023 (Chapter 1) - Thu 01 Jun 2017

I'm taking a stab at the car it's the car that vin diesel drove in the fast and the furious


Alashia (Chapter 2) - Wed 31 May 2017

Lovin it!


Mutnodjmet (Chapter 2) - Wed 31 May 2017

I like your story and was nicely written. I think this will be one of my favorite stories.

I do have a question about chapter one. The man on trial was found guilty on two counts, each count was suppose to be 40 years max, so since he was found guilty on both counts should he not have gotten 80 years max?

Anyway loved chapter two also. Great job!!!


Keo (Chapter 2) - Wed 31 May 2017

Great chapter! Love a confident Kagome!


sam (Chapter 2) - Wed 31 May 2017

The story is really good! I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe focus less on the car though, unless it's really important to the plot. The only thing I understand about it is the colour and that it's an old truck. 


LadyBri23 (Chapter 2) - Tue 30 May 2017

Your paragrapghs are all mashed together. It's hard to read this chapter. 


DevaG (Chapter 1) - Sun 28 May 2017

So.. I am hooked and I would love to know what happens next. Please update soon.


Holly (Chapter 1) - Fri 26 May 2017

My guess is you got from Dean Winchester from Supernatural 


Toni (Chapter 1) - Fri 26 May 2017

this is great  is the car from the dukes if hazard  glad hojo got his   keep it up


Anna Grey (Chapter 1) - Thu 25 May 2017

*waiting for (my) Sesshoumaru*

I like your Kagome's portrayal, strong, independent, beautifull. And Kikyo, I'm glad that you didn't make her evil

the first chapter is a little short though, I hope the next one will be longer and, of course, will Sess there??


Mona (Chapter 1) - Thu 25 May 2017

Great start, I hope to read more soon.


trinity3000 (Chapter 1) - Thu 25 May 2017

It sounds like the car from The Fast and The Furious.


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