AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Word Count: 4,023
Glossary:
Ojisan—Grandfather
Yukata—Sleepwear
THE SUN WAS HIGH in the sky when Kagome finally exited the forest, where she soon found herself traversing through a wide field. In the distance, she saw a familiar cluster of huts, and felt she might be ill.
She should be pleased. She’d accomplished what she’d set out to do. Her journey to the Inu no Kami’s shrine had been a success. She’d provided her gifts and imparted her village’s heartfelt prayers for his protection during these troubling times, while returning home without injury.
She’d done her duty. All without the aid of Kikyo or her obaasan.
But she hadn’t been alone. Not when it had counted. Once again, she’d had help. Not from her family, nor even the Inu no Kami himself. The villagers had not Kagome to thank for her success but a youkai.
Worse, an inugami—a formidable inuyoukai. A daemon of a much higher caliber than any she’d ever before faced.
Sesshomaru, in beast form, strode proud beside her, seemingly unperturbed by the prospect of entering a ningen village, or the home of a youkai’s worse enemy: a family of miko.
Lost in trepidation, Kagome didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary until she nearly impaled her foot on an abandoned farming tool. Only a quick nudge from Sesshomaru’s shoulder saved her from injury. She grudgingly thanked him, feeling completely unappreciative, especially when she became aware of the silence, the emptiness. Looking around, she frowned. There should have been a number of farmers out in the fields at this time of day. In fact, she saw several pieces of equipment discarded on the ground, as well as a hat, a basket, a sandal.
Trepidation slid like ice down her spine. The field wasn’t just deserted, it was abandoned.
Up until this moment, dread had weighed her every step the closer she’d approached the village. Now, she ran, arms pumping, arrows clattering in her quiver that bumped along her spine. Worry consumed her. Forgetting about Sesshomaru, she wasn’t aware when he’d left her side. She sprinted down the deserted dirt paths of her village, seeing no sign of life. Not even a stray mutt. But there were crows, large and black specters circling above. An ill omen, she felt.
Passing a dozen huts, Kagome ran for the one that mattered the most to her heart. Halfway there, she caught movement from the corner of her eye.
No hesitation. Training asserted itself. Her sandaled foot struck the ground, jarring her knee at her abrupt stop as she swung her bow off her shoulder and strung an arrow. In one, smooth motion, the white feathers at the end of the shaft brushed her ear, the sharp point of the arrowhead centered on the figure’s center mass.
“Miko, you have…returned.”
“Jinsei?!” Not even bothering to return the arrow to her quiver, she ran with the slim wood clenched in her fist, only to drop it beside her—forgotten—when she fell to her knees beside the elderly man.
Leaning against an old handcart, Jinsei sat with both feet straight out, hands pressed over his abdomen. Blood coated his hands, a large stain darkening his brown haori. Kagome was already untying the pack on her back, quickly hunting for the small medical kit she never left home without.
“Jinsei, what happened?! Are you alright? Of course, you’re not. How bad are you hurt? Where is everyone?” Swiftly, she glanced around. Seeing no one, she quickly returned her attention to her patient, but when she tried to remove his hands, he waved her away. “What—? Jinsei, you have to let me—”
“You have failed us, Kagome girl.”
Not miko. Girl.
Kagome flinched, thinking about Sesshomaru; their contract. But no one in her village knew of her poor judgement. Not yet, in any case. For an instant, she wondered where the inugami run off to, before focusing on the injured man. “Jinsei, you have to let me help you. You’ve lost a lot of blood.” Too much. He might die.
Perhaps reading her dire thoughts, he said, “I’m already dead.”
“Don’t talk like that—”
He interrupted, uncommonly rude. “We’re all going to die.” He looked away, as though unable to even look at her. “You were supposed to go to the Inu no Kami’s shrine. He would have protected this village.”
Was she too late? Had she bandits already come and gone?!
No, there would have been more bodies, their homes destroyed.
“I’ve just come from the Inu no Kami’s shrine,” she said with forced patience, guilt assaulted her.
Normally, she would have spent hours in supplication, as was customary, before returning home. In reality, her prayers had lasted minutes—if that, before she’d fainted. She’d spent valuable time unconsciousness, but again, Jinsei didn’t know that. No one in the village did.
“Then he has ignored your prayers. If only your sister were here. He’d have listened to her.”
Kagome’s breathe caught. Lips numb, she asked quietly, “What happened here? Where is everyone?” Was she wrong? Had they come under attack while she’d been gone? When he said nothing, she shouted. “Tell me!”
“We are doomed because of you.” With his last breath, he condemned her. She watched the light leave his dark eyes. Only then did his hands fall away from his wound, where his organs spilled grotesquely onto his lap.
Covering her mouth with the back of her mouth, Kagome lurched to her feet with a gasp, backing away. She stared down at the elderly man, memories flashing before her eyes. Jinsei had been like an ojisan to her and Kikyo. Like family, as many of the other villagers were. Now he was dead. And he blamed her. He’d had such a low opinion of her, and she’d never even realized. She knew the villagers held Kikyo in much higher esteem than her, but not like this. Not to the point that she could not be relied upon for even the smallest of tasks due her station.
He wasn’t wrong. She winced, shamefaced.
Had the Inu no Kami heard her? She hadn’t prayed as she ought to have. Hadn’t given the proper respect owed a kami. How could she when Sesshomaru claimed to have melted the shrine to the ground?
Where Sesshomaru was, she didn’t know nor cared as she turned on her heel. She ran through the streets, ignoring the few people she saw peeking out of their homes, the old and frail. If she could just get to Kaede-obaasan, everything would be alright. It had to be!
Seeing the familiar hut, she cried out, “Obaasan!”, before running inside.
She found Kaede wrapping bandages and placing them inside her medicine basket, obviously preparing to depart. The older woman looked up at her with her one eye, startled by her abrupt appearance. Kagome fell to her knees before her grandmother, her hands to the floor in front of her, needing the support when a rush of relief sapped her strength.
“Obaasan, what is going on?! No one is in the fields and I haven’t seen more than a few faces in the village. And Jinsei! He...” She hiccupped. “He’s dead!” Loud sobs erupted from Kagome, remembering every hurtful thing he’d said.
“Kagome child.” The love and concern in her obaasan’s voice reflecting in her one good eye caused Kagome to fall against the elderly woman, crying harder.
Kaede gently patted her shoulder, but her words were quick, insistent. “Child, I know not why ye are so troubled, but I am sorry. I cannot delay. I am needed elsewhere. We are needed. You’ve seen him? Then you know we must hurry.”
Kagome clutched at Kaede’s hand when the older woman tried to move around her, careful not to squeeze too tightly, knowing the knuckles were gnarled and riddled with arthritis. “Jinsei’s dead. I just saw him.”
Kagome bit her lip, unable to bring herself to reveal the hurtful things he’d said; though, her relief was strong. The bandits hadn’t come. The villagers were safe. But what happened to the rest?
“Kaede, what happened? Where is anyone?”
Kaede let out a tired sigh before nodding. “Come along, child. I must see Jinsei for myself.” As though Kagome couldn’t be trusted? “And there will be others in need. We must help those we can.”
It was a gentle reprimand, but a reprimand nonetheless. Apparently, others were hurt, possibly dying. Like Jinsei. Kagome was being selfish. Cheeks burning, Kagome lowered her gaze in shame but nodded. Taking the heavy pack from her obaasan to carry herself, she followed Kaede out of the hut.
As they walked quickly, Kaede spoke. “Soon after you left, word came from the neighboring village, of bandits ransacking the town, killing and burning everything to the ground. A few were even taken captive. Many of those who have remained in our village have fled, leaving everything they own behind. During the initial panic, fighting broke out amongst the villagers. Neighbor turned against neighbor, even conflict rose amongst family members.
“Since then, survivors have come and gone. Some peacefully. Others in violence. Having nothing, they ransacked our village, even stealing from those too old or frail to run. There have been injuries, but until Jinsei, no deaths.”
Kagome was sickened by the news. She had expected more from her fellow man, especially from those of her own village. Shouldn’t travesty band them tighter together? Instead, it would appear that fear made villains of them all.
Kagome sucked in a harsh breath. “What of Kikyo? You said the neighboring village was destroyed. Kikyo was there! Or has she returned with the survivors? Please, tell me she’s alright!”
Without slowing her stride, moving as quick as her old bones would allow, Kaede shook her head, her stooped shoulders dropping even lower. “I know not. I’ve questioned those who’ve come and gone, but no one knows of her fate.”
They came upon Jinsei’s body so Kaede could be certain that he was beyond their aid. Kagome stared at Kaede dully. Like Jinsei, Kaede didn’t believed her. And why should Kaede when Kagome acted the novice by breaking down? It didn’t matter that she had never witnessed such a brutal death first hand, or that she was left reeling from the hurtful things spoken against her by a dying man who’d been like a grandfather to her.
As a miko, she was expected to keep a level head no matter the situation. And she’d failed. She’d let everyone down.
LATER THAT NIGHT…
“You have failed us all, Kagome girl. We are doomed because of you.”
Jinsei’s accusations haunted her, preventing Kagome from finding her rest. After tending to the injured, Kagome had worked alongside Kaede all day, mostly cooking and cleaning. Families had abandoned those who were unable to care for themselves, leaving the responsibility to village miko.
Troubling thoughts plagued her. Had the Inu no Kami heard her prayers? If so, he’d rejected her. Kagome would never know.
Her village was all but abandoned, their homes pillaged by fearful survivors. Had Jinsei spoken true? Would the kami have listened had another taken her place? Like Kikyo?
Perhaps she’d angered the kami. She hadn’t objected to a youkai’s presence upon sacred ground, hadn’t discouraged the desecration of blood being spilled and life taken, or prevented the shrine’s destruction.
A wet, rough tongue licked up her cheek. Recoiling, Kagome gaped at the large dog standing over her, intruding on her worsening thoughts. “Sesshomaru! Where have you been?” With a grimace, she wiped the sticky saliva from her face with the sleeve of her white, sleeping yukata.
You are crying.
Kagome blinked in surprise, only then feeling the next tear fall from her lashes and make a trek down the very cheek he had licked. When Sesshomaru bent towards her, probably to slobber all over her again, Kagome pushed his muzzle away. Her dark mood plummeted at the sight of him.
When she’d cried out for the Inu no Kami, Sesshomaru had appeared instead. A memory surfaced, damning her. She’d called out for aid, yes, but not just the kami, but for anyone to come.
She had summoned Sesshomaru.
No.
Somehow, he’d interfered with her prayers.
Sesshomaru had been the one to desecrate the shrine with the bandits’ deaths. He had destroyed the building.
It wasn’t her fault. It was his.
Lowering her head, allowing her bangs to hide her eyes, her hands clenched the folds of her yukata. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “It wasn’t supposed to be you.” Anger and resentment tangled within her chest, forming a knot. Lifting her gaze, she glared at Sesshomaru. “It wasn’t supposed to be you!”
In her heartache and self-doubt, she lashed out. He was a convenient target, this youkai. “Why did you have to interfere? I prayed to the Inu no Kami, not you! Now, the villagers are gone, Kikyo is missing, and the bandits—”
Sesshomaru was suddenly in human form. Crouching over her, he grabbed her face, squeezing painfully, silencing her tirade. Kagome stilled, feeling the dangerous prick of sharp claws. He hadn’t broken skin, but one claw dug into the flesh just beneath her left eye. A warning.
His amber orbs were cold as he regarded her, his words filled with menace. “You wish I had left you as you were? Had I done so, those human filth would have captured you. You’d have been raped, shared amongst dozens of men for hours as they beat and tortured you. Is that want you wish for?”
He shook her, making Kagome fear he would cut her. “Your kami abandoned you, a miko who should be their favored amongst all others.” He sneered in her face. “You are no different from any other ningen. Pitiful creatures who do nothing but complain, blaming others for their misfortune, while doing nothing to improve their lives. Instead of blaming me, miko, I suggest you make better use of your time that doesn’t include wasting mine.”
He loathed her. She could see it clearly in his eyes. How easily she had forgotten that he was not a creature to be taken lightly, least of all to be trifled with. Would he hurt her? Kill her now for her foolishness, their contract be damned?
Her voice came out muffled against his palm, a pained whisper as she spoke around his cruel grip. A single word. “Why?”
Sesshomaru’s featured smoothed, revealing nothing. His grip loosened, allowing her to speak, perhaps seeing the change in her. Though she was in no lesser turmoil, she was calmer.
“If you despise us so much, why did you save me? You could have ignored me, walked away, or even watched as they had their way with me. But you did none of those things. You saved me.”
The hand at her face was gentle, caressing. His soft touch ghosted along her cheek, past her ear, fingers threading into her hair, until he fisted a handful at the base of her skull and yanked back. She gasped at the sharp sting, the angle painful. His expression changed not at all. He was calm, regarding her with dispassion.
“Why, you ask? Is it not obvious, miko? I come bringing enlightenment, to open your eyes to the darkness hidden within you.”
She didn’t understand his cryptic remark, felt her face scrunch in confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“You will. In time.”
He was so close, his breath whispered across her face. She thought he was going to kiss her. Unconsciously, she licked her dry lips.
Abruptly, he pulled back and let her go.
She was shocked to feel a hint of disappointment. What was wrong with her? When he moved away, she got an eyeful of naked flesh, of firm muscles and a nicely shaped backside. Before she could see more, she turned away quickly, horrified by the strength of the temptation to look just a little longer, until she saw what lie between his hips… Stop it!
Something was happening in her peripheral. Her head shot back towards him so fast she felt her neck crack. His form was evaporating into smoke!
“Do not leave the village,” she heard him say in warning, before he was gone, leaving her alone.
WITH THE MOON casting its silver rays upon her, Kagome knelt by the river on the outskirts of the village near the cliffs with a weary sigh. The inugami’s last words had been an order, but sleep escaped her. The river wasn’t far, and she often came here when she was troubled, not wishing to wake her family whenever she had a restless night. Not intending to stay out long, she hadn’t even bothered changing out of her sleeping yukata.
Regrets plagued her.
Like how she’d left things between herself and Sesshomaru.
There was no telling if the Inu no Kami had heard her prayers, or if he even knew she existed. She’d never seen him, didn’t know of anyone who ever had. Not even Kikyo, and she’d gone to pray on numerous occasions over the years. As the known protector of the land, the miko of her village had always prayed to him.
Would Sesshomaru return? They had a contract. Or had he a change of heart? His contempt of her was obvious. Surely, he wanted nothing more to do with her after tonight. That would mean she was free, right? She should be happy, yet she longed to see him.
The desire went beyond the need to apologize. She’d caught a glimpse into his thoughts. He disdained humanity, of miko in particular. After tonight, she’d done nothing to dissuade his prejudices, but rather solidified his low opinion of them—of her. He saw nothing of value in ningen, least of all her. And some small part of her wanted to prove him wrong.
Foolishness.
How long she sat, deep in thought, she did not know, but after a time, she slowly became aware of the smell of smoke. And it was getting stronger. Looking over her shoulder, her breath caught. Orange and red flames reached towards the night sky in the direction of her village. Knees stiff from kneeling for so long, she lurched to her feet and limp-ran towards the village. Her anxiety intensified when she heard the screams, and the unexpected sound of men shouting and the whinnying of horses.
There hadn’t been a horse left in the village upon her return earlier that day, she was sure of it. Entering the village, all was chaos.
Men, dressed in full war gear, ran through her village with swords drawn, while others galloped on horseback. The strangers were attacking the few remaining villagers! Kagome gasped in horror at the sight of an elderly woman being cut down from behind. Blood spraying in a violent arc, her assailant laughing as the body hit the ground.
Kagome saw that the woman was yet alive, because when she was trampled beneath a horse’s hooves, the woman screamed. The horseman wheeled around, eying the fallen woman. With the moon so bright, Kagome could see the cruel twist of his grin as he kneed the horse forward again.
Kagome didn’t have her bow and arrows, couldn’t prevent the horseman from running the poor woman over again. Foolish, foolish! She ran for home, needing a weapon. She needed to find Kaede.
The bandits had come.
Somehow, she made it back without being attacked. Unfortunately, her home was ablaze. Kagome didn’t hesitate. Running into the burning building, she shouted for Kaede, only to choke on the thick smoke. The flames were intense. Trying to avoid the worst of them, she headed towards Kaede’s sleeping quarters that were next to her own just off the main room.
Kagome could barely see for the suffocating smoke when she tripped over an obstruction on the ground, where she came face to face with her obaasan. Her good eye was closed. Unconscious?
Coughing, throat burning and raw from the smoke, she tried to pull Kaede towards the door when her own yukata caught fire. Panicked, Kagome released Kaede to bat at the tiny flames dancing at the hem. She was distracted for only seconds, but the moment the flames were extinguished, she heard an ominous cracking, before a wooden beam came crashing down. Sparks flew, forcing Kagome back with hands up to shield her face.
Tears streaming from her burning eyes, further obstructing her vision. Kagome looked for Kaede, only to feel her heart sink. The beam had fallen on top of her obaasan, pinned her beneath its great weight. If Kaede was hurt, she made not a sound. Even above the roaring flames, Kagome was sure she’d be able to hear screams of pain. Desperate to get to her, she cried out as the flames leapt between her and Kaede.
Fire surrounded her. She was trapped.
When it began to sink in that she was going to burn alive, she heard another load crash. Wood splintered, falling around her, but all she felt were strong arms scooping her against a firm chest. The flames glinted on silver hair.
Sesshomaru!
With an inhuman leap, Sesshomaru effortlessly jumped through a hole he’d made in the roof. Landing lightly on the burning shelter, she felt the ceiling cave beneath them, but they were already sailing through the air. When they landed several feet away, safe, Kagome struggled in his arms, trying to speak, but could only cough and wheeze. She couldn’t catch her breath! Her chest was on fire. Curling in on herself, she couldn’t stop Sesshomaru from taking her away from her home, from her obaasan.
In desperation, she called to him using their blood link. We have to go back! Kaede is still in there!
Sesshomaru kept moving further away, but he’d heard her. “She is dead, miko.”
Kagome shook her head, a denial on her lips, but all that came out was more coughing. Her eyes burned. They felt dry, scratchy, but she was able to see the trio of men running at them, swords drawn. She needn’t have worried. A strange, green light, flashed from Sesshomaru’s claws. Whip-like, it decapitated the men effortlessly.
Ignoring her struggles for breath, Sesshomaru stared down at her with an odd gleam in his eyes. “Do you want them to pay for what they have done? To avenge the deaths of your people? Of your family? Ask it of me, and I shall kill them for you.”
Her lungs seized for a whole different reason. She understood the look in his eyes now. Zeal. Lust. He wanted to kill for her?
When she remained silent, he pressed with eager impatience. “Surely, you are angry. Vengeful. Embrace it, aijin.” His voice was a husky seduction, oozing poisonous temptation.
Kagome shook her head. Coldness crept in, numbing her body and mind. She was in shock. Helpless to fight its dulling affects, she floated on a thick cloud. She no longer felt the weight of her body, the burning of her lungs, nor smelled the acrid stench of smoke and burning flesh.
If Sesshomaru spoke anymore words, she did not hear them, was barely aware that they were moving again. How long was she held suspended in this un-world of the senseless?
Blind and deaf to everything around her, she found her voice. “When I was a little girl, obaasan would tell me, after my mother had passed away, that there was no death, only a change of worlds. But how can I believe that when death is so ugly and brutal? How can there be another life beyond this one when our bodies in this life are so easily ripped apart?”
A sob tore from her chest, hurting her raw throat. She was starting to feel again, and feeling hurt. Her heart worst of all. She looked up at Sesshomaru, tormented, pleading for understanding. “How can anyone do such harm to another human being?”
His reply was not comforting. “It is human nature.”
If he’d meant to fuel the flames of anger within her, he’d accomplished the opposite. She felt only sorrow and disbelief towards a world filled with evil men.