To Kill a Frog by 17th Floor

To Kill a Frog

Hello All,

17th Floor here. This is my first post, decided to jump right in. In response to Skye's 'Fairytale' Prompt. This is about 1500 words. My line of thinking was as thus: prince=Jaken=stench=bog of stench=kissing is bad=OMG!

Let me know what you think. Also, constructive criticism about tense changes is most welcome.

Many thanks!

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 It was late in the evening, and the frog was to die.

His battle plan was as simple as that.  After decades, nay centuries of loyal service and unwavering devotion, the kappa had crossed the line and would pay for his mistake.  Looking back, Sesshomaru had known with his keen and highly developed senses that the frog was planning a cou d'état. Jaken's musty scent had been excessively heavy with fear; his eyes hooded with secrets, and his webbed fingers constantly plucking at the hem of his coarse, earthen robes.  Even Rin, who knew best how to elicit cries of anguish and anger, could rouse him little.  The silence that befell the usually garrulous servant in the presence of the Dog Lord was most telling.  Yet, those same senses had not foreseen the depth of the frog's perfidy, to do something he had expressly forbidden.

And now the frog was to die, preferably after much groveling and sniveling. Sesshomaru glanced down at the prostrate kappa trembling before him.  So far so good.

"Once upon a time," his voice was ice, and the toad shivered as if Winter herself had embraced him.  "There was a green kappa by the name of Jaken." The eyes of the aforementioned toad rolled back up into his skull, and for one brief moment, Sesshomaru thought he might actually witness the death of his servant caused by his voice alone.  While that would have been an entertaining occurrence for his predatory nature, it would not nearly have been satisfying enough.  He poked the toad with the tip of his leather-shod foot.

"Your attention, Jaken." 

Watery bulbous eyes refocused on the tall Killing Perfection before them. Nearby Rin stifled a giggle between her slightly grubby hands and edged closer to overhear the story her Lord was about to tell. Pretty Kagome would tell her stories whenever Rin saw her, but she had never ever ever heard her Lord Sesshomaru tell one.  It should be a good story too, because Kagome said the best stories always begin 'Once upon a time.' 

"This kappa served a Taiyoukai, this Sesshomaru."

 Rin nodded sagely. That was very true.  A silver eyebrow was arched in her direction.  It would be unfortunate that Rin witnessed the demise of her most constant play companion, but perhaps the fox kit the miko traveled with could be used as a permanent replacement.  The fox's manners were lacking, a side-effect of traveling with his brother no doubt, but kitsunes were known for their intelligence and playful nature, and the little kit and Rin had already demonstrated a remarkable rapport each time the two groups crossed paths in the search for Naraku. It had been happening more frequently lately, as the final shards were gathered. In fact, just this morning he had come across his brother's tachi.  The miko had instigated a game she labeled 'Hide and Seek.' The kit, Shippo it was, chose various forms to hide in plain sight while Rin time and time again hid beneath the great girth of Ah-Un.  It had been...amusing to watch, including the miko's frustration at 'seeking', until the toad had committed his treason. A bit of crimson bled into his eyes at the memory...the frog was to die.

"This Sesshomaru asked little of his retainer, but that he follow and obey."

Rin was completely engrossed in the tale now; she sidled up next to Jaken, gazing at her idol with definitely less fearful eyes than her fellow audience member. 

"Rin knows how to follow very well too," she whispered in Jaken's ear causing him to fall over backwards in surprise.  Both eyebrows were now arched, delicate silver wings ready to take flight. Jaken scrambled back to his devout position, using his momentary imbalance to wipe his sweaty palms onto his equally damp robes.  Sesshomaru waited till the frog was completely settled and continued his story,

"Oi! Sesshomaru!"

The great and powerful lord refrained from sighing as his younger brother noisily entered the clearing, holding the fanged heritage of their father over his shoulder like a club.  "I thought you were heading back to your keep."  Behind him, the perverted monk and his mate emerged, the fire-cat resting in the monk's crossed arms. Most likely to keep his hands busy, Sesshomaru thought uncharitably.  Last but not least, the miko Kagome and her kitsune charge entered, laughing at some unknown joke. 

This time Sesshomaru did sigh, inwardly of course.  The beautiful miko was the cause of this mess, but no doubt she would be displeased at the green death he was about to bestow. To use the words of his unseemly half-brother, 'Fuck'. He really wanted to kill Jaken. It had been bothering him all day.

Of all the tachi, it was Shippo who first gathered what was happening.  "Story time!" he squealed, launching himself next to a beaming Rin.  She clapped her hands excitedly, not expecting the return of her seventh-favorite-person-in-the-entire-world so soon.  Sesshomaru glared down at the kitsune, but it seemed the miko's fearless nature was rubbing off on the young one.  Fearless and rude, a combination for survival if he ever saw one.

He cleared his throat, "We shall resume this story at a different time." Jaken looked ready to pass out again, this time with relief, while Rin's eyes grew large with pleading.  The miko walked up and sat down behind Rin, pulling the young girl onto her lap. She knew not what had just transpired but identified puppy-dog eyes when she saw them.  With a mischievous grin, she glanced up at Sesshomaru, and let her eyes become beautiful crystal pools of hope.  He knew it had been a mistake to encourage the miko's familiarity with his person. These past few months had taught her little respect and much impertinence. 

"Please Sesshomaru-sama," the miko clasped her hands together as if in supplication for a higher cause, "finish the story."  Shippo, ever ready for to emulate his beloved Kagome, followed suit.  From the corner of his eye, Sesshomaru could see his half-brother laughing as he scouted out the proper tree to sleep in for the night. The taijiya and monk were also laying out bedding for the evening. Sesshomaru took note of the final tree Inuyasha picked. He would kill him after he killed the frog.  The three pairs of large, liquid eyes gazing at him in abject anticipation brought him out of his murderous daydream, and Sesshomaru the Taiyoukai caved like a wet ramen noodle.

"Very well."

"From the beginning!!" Kagome added, getting more comfortable on the grass by stretching her dainty but well-muscled legs. 

 "Once upon a time..."

"Ooooh the best fairy tales start this way!"

 "Miko...."

"Demon..."  Kagome elbowed Jaken in the ribs, as if to include him in her great original comeback, for surely no one had ever though of that before her.  Jaken did not laugh, but Kagome knew the toad was a friend-in-progress.  Laughter would be forthcoming in the future.  Unnoticed to her, the toad scooted farther from her person. She was the cause of all his misery.

"You are behaving like Inuyasha, miko."  From the treetops, a half-hearted 'bastard' was muttered.  Kagome made a delectable pout, but the desired silence was achieved.  Sesshomaru needed to wrap this story time up quickly before Jaken could edge farther away. 

"Once upon a time, Jaken kissed a miko. And then he died. The end."  He hastily unsheathed his poisonous claws, eager to rid himself of the competition for the miko's affections.

Looking back, he should have known that his fairy tale did not have the proper mixture of magic, archetypal characters, groupings of threes, godmothers, and a prince charming.  He had heard enough of the miko's tales to know what pleased an audience.  Yet, he had not foreseen the depth of the miko's rage, and the actions that would follow.

 "WHAT?! Why you arrogant son-of-a-! We were playing hide and go seek, and I couldn't find ANYONE! No one would help me!" She rose and punctuated each sentence with a jab of her fist towards his chest.  Rin, Shippo, and Jaken scattered like leaves in the wake of her fury.  From the treetops, snickering could be heard.

 "He helped me, and I kissed him to thank him! I'll kiss who I WANT TO, you arrogant dog, and no one, no ONE, will tell me otherwise!" With that, the miko placed her arms on her hips and like an arrow marched towards Jaken, who in his backwards retreat had become tangled in Miroku's bedroll.  The ever-helpful monk was trying to assist the terrified kappa, but froze in the face of Kagome's rage.

With four giant steps, Kagome had the squirming kappa in her arms, and proceeded to plant a giant kiss right on the top of his bald head.

"That's two! TWO KISSES NOW" Kagome yelled triumphantly, as if to shout to every dog and wolf youkai in all of Feudal Japan that she was no one's personal fire hydrant. 

Sesshomaru's eyes bled crimson, "Woman! Do not kiss him three times!" Closing her eyes in blatant disregard, Kagome puckered her lips, and landed a big wet kiss right on the kappa's lips.

In explosion of light went off in the clearing, followed by the distinct sound of a body falling out of a tree. When the spots dancing in front of everyone's' eyes had cleared, Inuyasha lay sprawled across a naked man with a shock of green hair, and Kagome was gone...

The bushes to the left rustled, and a dainty 'ribbit' was heard.

Inuyasha stood up hastily, brushing invisible particles of naked man of his fire-rat robes. Sesshomaru reached down and grabbed a handful of the newcomer's emerald hair.

"Go find her kappa. And kiss her three times. And then run."

 It was now very late in the evening, but the toad still had to die.