Serves Two by Tsuki no Tennyo

Kale Me Now

Author's Note: When your life feels like a shit show, just upload something you wrote like three years ago! – Totally Wise Words from Yours Truly

Yes, hi, this is just one of many random chaptered stories I've written on-and-off in the past years. Of course, it's nowhere near completion. But I still wanted to post it anyway because I obviously hate myself :)

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"Sometimes I don't think he's a picky eater," Kagome griped as she pulled a casserole dish out of the oven, the sight of the macaroni and four-cheese was the only thing that cooled her temper, "He just likes fucking with me. He likes to see me go crazy when I have to pick up his weird ass fruit from some shady salesman at the market in Chinatown."

"That's not nice perpetuating stereotypes," Kikyou pointed out.

"The guy was Canadian. He wasn't even that nice to me." Kagome answered sullenly, placing the hot dish in the middle of the counter on a wooden serving board.

Sango poured herself another glass of white wine, taking a sip before remarking, "It's been three years since you've started working for him. He should give you another raise for working so hard."

Kikyou nodded in agreement. "You're always over there day and night cooking for him."

"I'm a personal chef," Kagome pointed out to her two roommates, "That is kind of a big part of my job description."

Sango helped herself to a generous portion of the mac and cheese. "Yes, but I don't recall the last time you've taken a vacation. It's been a while since you've went back to Japan to visit your family."

"Mama understands how busy I am. I sent home care packages all the time, though."

"I think she would rather have a 'Kagome' in one of the packages," Kikyou commented, blowing on her forkful of macaroni. Seeing her friend's instant guilt-ridden expression, Kikyou immediately added, "I know! Tell the bastard to give you a couple weeks off! We'll all go back home to visit!"

"Sounds like a good idea," Sango added, grinning. "He can live off of a couple weeks of frozen dinner, right? Or does he expect caviar every day?"

"He actually hates caviar," Kagome said, a bit of fondness crept into her voice. Seeing her friends' confused looks, she quickly added that she would think about it. She finished cleaning up as her roommates ate and continued to complain about her boss.

"Alright," Kagome sighed, taking her apron off and throwing it on the third unoccupied stool. "You ladies enjoy dinner. I have a picky tycoon to go feed now. He'll probably keep me there all night until I make something he likes."

"Bring home leftover!" Sango hollered over her shoulder.

"Oh, they'll be plenty," Kagome promised.

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Kagome barely gotten out of the elevator that dropped her off at the penthouse floor when she was bombarded by Jaken, the loyal assistant to their extremely picky boss.

"Where have you been, wench?" the short man yelled as he took several fearful glances behind his shoulder.

"Um," she started, used to his lowly treatment of her since day one, "I always get here at this time. What's up, Jaken?"

"'What's up' is Mr. Nishimura's foul temper!"

"How can you tell the difference?" she wondered aloud, convinced that her boss only had three expressions: bored, annoyed, and grumpy, though they all seemed to overlap more often than not. She entered the passcode for the digital lock, and walked in with Jaken in tow. She was surprised to see two more people sitting in the living room.

"Oh!" she took a glance at Jaken again, realizing why he was particularly nervous this evening. "We have additional dinner guests, Mr. Nishimura?"

"Little chef!"

Kagome let out a weak "oof!" when she was enveloped into a tight hug by the only other woman in the room. She returned the hug once her surprise wore off. "It's good to see you again, Mrs. Nishimura."

"I am so sorry to bombard on you like this, dear, but if I don't show up unannounced like this then you know Sesshoumaru will skitter off and hide from me again!" she said with a pout, though Kagome realized by now from past experiences that the older woman lacked any sense of remorse for anything and everything. In any case, annoying her son was a particular favorite hobby of hers, one that she would randomly embark on at least once a month.

"Mother, kindly remove yourself from my chef," Sesshoumaru said lowly.

"Possessive, isn't he!" his mother crowed.

"Um," Kagome blushed at the comment before skulking off to the kitchen located adjacent to the living room. "I'll just prepare dinner now. What would you like Mr. Nishimura?"

"Hm," he answered, and she resisted the urge to yell at him that that was not an acceptable answer.

"I'm in a bit of kale mood, Kagome," his mother spoke for them both, ignoring her son's immediate look of disapproval at both commandeering his employee and the dinner suggestion. "Something light, if you please."

"Oh, of course, ma'am!" she chirped, pulling her long hair into a high ponytail as she prepared the ingredients.

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Dinner went about as well as Kagome expected, but that could also be because she had low expectations to begin with.

"This is Henri," Sesshoumaru introduced slowly, in English, the other individual in the room, "Mother's 'friend.'"

"Oh, let's not be such prudes, Sesshoumaru!" his mother chided him with a click of her tongue, much to his chagrin. She turned to Kagome as the young woman plated each person's dish, and smiled pleasantly, "He is my new lover."

"And that," Sesshoumaru muttered in acknowledgement, ignoring the fact that Kagome's face was now as red as the tomatoes in their salad. He turned away to hide his grimace when his mother began Frenching the Frenchman.

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When the surprise guests and Jaken had all left, it was just Kagome and Sesshoumaru that remained in the penthouse. He had disappeared to his office immediately after dinner, leaving her to finish clearing the table and cleaning up. She was humming quietly as she did the tedious tasks, but she paused when she reached for his plate, which was still mostly full save for some small cuts of his grilled lamb chop. She sighed, not too upset with him this time. Anyone would lose their appetite in the company of that much display of "affections".

She set the plate on the kitchen counter and moved on to the sink full of dirty dishes. By the time she had finished cleaning everything, it was nearly midnight. As she washed her hands, she heard footsteps approaching from the hallways. She looked up, seeing Sesshoumaru walked in with only his pajamas bottom on. She wiped her hands dry with a kitchen towel.

"Are you hungry?"

He nodded.

Then the faintest of grin broke on her face. "Ramen?"

He raised his chin, giving her a haughty look before he strode across the room and leaned over the island counter to kiss her.

"You know me too well."

"I know you dislike kale."

He raised a brow at that reveal. "Then why do you buy it still?"

"You need the nutrients," she answered easily with a delighted poke to his well-muscled abs, "It's good for you."

"You knew my mother would be here."

"I did not!" she answered, offended that he thought she would be in cahoots with the woman to wreak havoc on his life. She would never tell him that she had entertained the thought maybe once or five times, but this time, though, she was completely unaware of the woman's planned visit. "I was pleasantly surprised though. I like her and her visits."

"Hm."

"I like her for giving birth to such a handsome son," she said, clearly stroking his ego.

"Hm?" His frown disappeared for a moment, being replaced with a pleased smirk.

"Who should give a handsome raise for his overworked girlfriend?"

"No."

"Oh," Kagome said quietly, having expected his rejection. She reached into the cupboard where she had stashed the secret supply of ramen. She grabbed one of the packages as she looked for a clean pot to boil water. She casually shrugged. "Then no raise for you either."

He glared.

She turned around, surprised when he had pinned her up against the counter. She gave him her own smirk.

"We could…work out a compromise?" she suggested, slipping out from under his arms. She quickly turned and opened the fridge door, pulling out a bottle of chocolate syrup and a can of whipped cream. She gave him another grin, which was answered by his own knowing smirk.

"I told my roommates my 'boss' might be keeping me up all night." She wagged her eyebrows at him.

"Tell me about your boss," he said, grabbing her wrist and already dragging her up against his chest again. "He sounds like a reasonable man."

"Oh, he's a complete jackass," she said, squirting whipped cream across Sesshoumaru's upper lip. She licked it off before he could even protest. "But I like him enough."

"Hm." He grabbed the bottle of chocolate syrup, and traced it over her lips, giving her a quick lick of his own. His voice was low, soft and sensual against her ear. "Jaken's off tomorrow and I think my mother has satisfied her quota for the number of times to bother me a month."

"No surprise guests?"

"None," he answered, pulling her toward his bedroom.

"What about your ramen?"

He looked at the empty pot and unopened ramen package left on the kitchen counter, and shrugged. "I'll just enjoy dessert tonight."

"You don't deserve dessert," she retorted, stopping halfway through the living room. He was about to protest until he noticed her stripping down until she had nothing on but her apron. The nice mint-colored apron, with frills and lacey everything, he noted with approval.

"Now," she started, removing her hair tie, and letting her long, dark tresses fall down her back gently. She placed a hand on her hip, remarking casually, "Where did we leave off on that raise discussion?"